If Obama were a food...

This just might very well be the beginning of a series of posts on how the Presidential candidates would answer silly ice breaker questions about their opposing nominees.  Questions like, "If you were a food what would you be and why?", "If you could have 3 wishes, how would you use them (obviously you can't wish for more wishes)", or "If you could have any superpower, what would it be and why".  

So today, we start with what John McCain might say about Barack Obama in answering the question.....

Q: "If Barack Obama were a food, what would he be and why?"

A: My friends, if Senator Obama were a food, he would be a Flatbread Pizza.  To be more specific, a Wild Mushroom and Roasted Asparagus Flatbread Pizza.  Why?

Flatbreads represent to me this ultra hip and exotic food.....but in reality it's just a downgrade on real pizza, right?  Let me give you an anecdote.....It's Friday night, you young bucs put a little extra gel in the hair, slide into those designer jeans you overpaid for and go socialize over flatbreads and wine.....now that is a hot scene.  So hot, in fact, after putting lipstick on them, farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs....a smokin' scene.  Did I mention that I spent 5 years as a POW?.....I digress.  

Senator Obama has this exterior about him that just feels really really good.  His rhetoric even sounds sophisticated (i.e. - Wild Mushroom and Roasted Asparagus).....but my friends, you will eat that flatbread and you will feel really good about yourself......for about 30 minutes.   But not too long after your body will tell you the truth and you will not be satisfied.....the substance is just not there.  Like the infamous Wendy's commercial, you will be asking yourself the proverbial question of, "Where's the beef?".  

My friends, Flatbreads may be fun for Friday nights and happy hours, but if you are looking for a steady diet that will carry you through the long hours of the night........look no further than John McCain and Sarah Palin....the real reformers for Washington in 2008.  In closing, Senator Obama and his Flatbread Pizza, one might call it a "meal to nowhere".

Don't worry, McCain's food is in the kitchen and coming soon....